Is A Lame Profile Headline Hampering Your Response Rate?

A recent study showed that nearly half of all Google News readers just read the headlines. Suffice to say, headlines are important. Your profile headline is the closest thing you get to having a catch phrase. Think of it as the slogan on the t-shirt you wear to the first date. So please pay attention to it.

Our dating experts hacked together a list of the 6 absolute worst types of headlines we come across. We’ll show you what they are, and why they mat hamper your response rate.

1 – The Lovesick Loser

Example: “Lookin for the love of my life…are you IT?”

Why we hate it: Too soon… Way too soon! You gotta wait until there’s a real connection before you start laying on the heavy stuff. Broadcasting your neediness to random strangers all over the net is a surefire way to ward off women.

2 – The ‘Too Cool to Be Creative’

Example: “Insert Witty Headline Here”

Why we hate it: Self aware ≠ funny. There was a brief time when this sort of joke got a laugh. Now, thankfully, it’s been revealed for what it truly is—a copout for people who think they’re clever but actually don’t have anything witty to say.

3 – The Ol’ Hi There

Example: “Sup.” “Hi There” “How r u?” etc.

Why we hate it: You may think you’re coming across as refreshingly laid back. But when she’s rapid-scanning 50+ profiles on her lunch break, you’ll just come across as forgettable. Why not start with something a little more interesting? Or do you have anything interesting to talk about? She’ll most likely be wondering the latter.

4 – The Fortune Cookie Philosopher

Example: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”

Why we hate it: She’s not here to discover life’s purpose. She’s here to bag a date. That being said, if you’ve chosen to go the ‘words of wisdom’ route, at least make it original. There’s nothing more cliché than an overused cliché.

5 – The New Guy

Example: “New here…still find this whole online dating thing kind of strange”

Why we hate it: In case you weren’t aware, it’s no longer considered weird to look for dates online. What’s weird is going through all the trouble to set up an account, fill out a profile, upload pictures, only to act all sheepish and awkward about the whole thing.

6 – The Slimeball

Example: “Love having fun with beautiful ladies”

Why we hate it: In real life you may just be an idiot, but here you’re seriously creepy. We don’t care if this approach worked over sophomore spring break in Cancun. Few things will get you branded a weirdo / lame-ass player faster than talking about having a good time with some “beautiful ladies“. Seriously, you’d probably have better luck trolling Chatroulette, if you aren’t already doing so.